Self-Talk Article from Natural Awakenings Magazine

The following is an article which ran in the August 2009 issue of Natural Awakenings magazine in Central Arkansas.

Click here for the online edition:  Natural Awakenings Online

Adults and Kids: Gain Confidence Using Easy Self-Talk Technique

By John Jones

Most of us have an average of about 20,000 individual thoughts per day. That’s about one new thought every four and a half seconds. Some thoughts enter our conscious awareness, others go straight to our subconscious; we may not even know they’re happening. The ones we consciously hear, we listen to like random chattering the same way as if we were listening to a conversation. Sometimes we even say things out loud just like we’d be talking to someone else, but we’re talking to ourselves. We call this self-talk.

When Self-Talk Becomes Negative

Quite often what happens is that over time our self talk becomes self talk abuse where we criticize or berate ourselves, usually after we’ve made even the smallest mistake. If we accidentally drop the milk carton as we’re pulling it out of the fridge and it spills on the floor, we get upset and say to ourselves, “You so-and-so, can’t you do anything right?” Oftentimes we call ourselves names and ridicule ourselves for no reason at all. Sometimes the things that we say to ourselves become abusive, tearing down our self esteem and we make ourselves feel bad. We don’t even realize we’re doing it, and what’s worse, subconsciously, we’re doing it on purpose!

Simple Technique to Reprogram our Thoughts and Patterns

Here’s an easy way to change the negative self talk and give ourselves a big boost of confidence. Parents, you can do this for yourselves and help your children bolster their self esteem by teaching it to them early on. Make it a game… Start to listen to what you say to yourself; become aware of when you start to say something negative. If a mistake happens catch yourself in the middle of one of those dialogs. Picture a tape recorder in your mind, and every time you make one of those negative statements, picture yourself pressing the STOP button and at the same time say “Stop!” Picture yourself pressing the REWIND button and say “Rewind.” Picture yourself pressing the RECORD button and say “Record.” Now boldly replace the abusive or negative statement with something positive; “I forgive myself; I was only doing the best I could with what I had to work with at the time.” Part of the game could be to invent a new phrase that you can say to yourself with confidence. Here are some great examples.

• “That was an accident. It wasn’t something to make myself feel bad about.”
• “Well, that wasn’t worth getting myself fired up, was it?”
• “That was brilliant! I hope I get to do it again someday!”

Pretty soon, you’ll be verbally beating yourself up less, and holding yourself up more. All it takes is some affirmative repetition. Healthy and confident self-love creates more self-respect, more self-assurance, and more self-esteem. It’s good for you, and great for your family!

John Jones is a creative life and energy coach helping clients increase awareness, confidence, and productivity. He and his family recently relocated to Little Rock from Las Vegas, NV and love it here. For more information, contact jonesmediapro.com or 501-613-9223 or see ad page 26.