My Unremarkable Life as a Rock & Roll Musician

My mother taught me to be a free-thinker; she instilled in me and my siblings a vision of free will. I simply took the ball and ran with it. This won’t be so much a list of things I’ve done or places I’ve been as much as it will be a reflection of what I’ve picked up along the way. I’ve entitled this piece “My Unremarkable Life as a Rock & Roll Musician.” I use the word “unremarkable” because my mother impressed me with many redeeming values, not the least of which is humility, and even though I’ve developed a healthy sense of self-esteem, it’s very difficult for me to think that my life has been especially important in the big picture when compared to the people who have shaped our world and our collective history so very much. I’m using the phrase “rock & roll” because that’s the way I look at my life, much like a rock & roll song. I’ve been influenced and empowered by rock n’ roll music ever since I watched Elvis and the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan show.

As a child, I learned that playing a musical instrument made me likable and popular with the girls and I’ve always stated that that was the reason I got into the music business. Looking back, I now know that my life would not have unfolded any other way. I was the youngest child of four, my siblings are females, and my mother was the matriarch of the family. My father was a good, honest, hard-working man, but my mother was the dominant parent and raised us with her values and skills, state of the art as they were at the time. I was the baby of the family, let me rephrase that, I AM the baby of the family, and I learned early on how to take full advantage of that and it remains a finely honed skill to this day.

I started taking piano lessons at the age of five and it soon became apparent that I would use my talent to impress my siblings and my family, then my clan, and on and on from there. My anthem for that era was Simon & Garfunkle’s “Feeling Groovy.”  I felt very groovy. I still do.

The seventies were filled with adventure and free spirit. I took liberties at every opportunity. My musical skill was increasing and I started to perform at night-clubs and festivals much to the adoration of my friends. I was starting to express myself as an artist. In 1975 I enjoyed my first glass of wine. In 1976 I joyfully got high with my friends, and by 1979 I was doing both on an almost daily basis; I was 18 years old. The anthem for me then was Crosby, Stills, & Nash’s “If You Can’t Be with the One You Love, Love the One Your With.” I couldn’t and I quite often did.

The eighties weren’t much different. I skated through a couple years of music and general education classes at a local college before I decided that school really wasn’t for me and I wouldn’t need it to be a rock n’ roll star, remarkable or not. My musical skill was such that I could keep an income… and I hit the road with a band. We traveled the circuit and performed at some of the best rock n’ roll cities in the country; Joplin, Missouri, Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Elkhart, Indiana to name a few. Anyone who stayed in on a Saturday night in Camden,AR in June of 1984 simply has no idea of what they missed. Looking back, perhaps they were better off for doing so. In the 80s, I thought that happiness was found in spandex, long hair, and the freedom of the road. Those were my lost child years, my walkabout. My song was Billy Joel’s “My Life” which basically stated “leave me alone and let me do it my own way.”

The 90s were a total blur and I don’t really remember much about it to be honest. There wasn’t much excitement on the music scene and I ended up in Las Vegas pursuing the glitter and glamour that only that city could provide. Still the free-spirit, I allowed myself the justification of all that I could take advantage of. It wasn’t until the end of the decade that I started to ponder the two questions that beg to us all at some point; “Why am I doing this?” and “What’s it all for?” My song had been “(Party Like It’s) 1999” by Prince because up until that point, that was what I’d been doing.

On September 9^th, 2002, two days before the 1^st anniversary of the World Trade Center bombings, I changed my tune. I awoke with a conscious decision that I would no longer allow the influences of my addictive behaviors to decide my fate and run my life. Twenty-four months after that I had gained enough clarity for the first time in 30 years to look back at my Rock n’ Roll life and see what I’d received throughout. Would I have done it differently, knowing what I know now? Perhaps, but we all have to go through the lessons to become what we are. The proof is that we have, each of us in our own, unique way, and maybe, just maybe it’s not so unremarkable after all.